theoriginalcount:

Most men wouldn’t want to look like absolute fools. No, most he met wanted to keep their macho toughness and ‘don’t give a fuck’ attitude. Those who stood around and grunted, yeah, some of them had people fawning over, but what happened when they couldn’t get down and boogey? Left behind unless The Count as he walked over to a door, sliding down it as if it was his very own pole. He even pretended to lick and spit something out. “Yuck should really clean this pole. Never know how many snatches been riding up and down these things. Thank you dearie, can’t help my humor, it spills everywhere.”

She was in stitches, covering her face at his antics as her face turned crimson with her amusement. She tired to compose herself but failed miserably until  few moments later and his words had her chuckling again, waving her hands in front of her face in an attempt to have him stave off his antics. “No no please,” she chuckled again. “I doubt I could take anymore, I’ve laughed so much my sides ache.”